Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Murdered

After watching the two hour interview Oprah conducted with four child sex offenders, I was left with many different thoughts and emotions stirring around in my mind.  I felt sick from hearing about these individuals acts, but I also felt a little more enlightened about how I can protect my children.  Within all these thoughts and emotions, there were three things said in this interview that were especially poignant.

The first thing said that stood out to me was something Oprah said about the way predators work.  She said, "When an abuser does his/her job well, it leaves the person who was victimized feeling like they were responsible for the abuse...  A good molester will take his time..."  Although I felt like this was something I already knew, hearing Oprah say it the way she did was very eye opening.  In my opinion, I believe this is why so many victims never tell, they not only feel guilty, they feel responsible for the abuse.  It breaks my heart to think about how many people are out there suffering, and torturing themselves because they feel like they were responsible.

The second thing that really struck me was something that one of the sex offenders said.  In talking about the girl that he took advantage of and victimized, he said, "I killed who she could have been."  I have never really thought of it that way before.  For a long time I have recognized how people, their personalities, emotions, etc. are changed because of abuse, but I have never thought or it in the sense of the abuser murdering the person a little girl or boy could have become.  But in reality that is what it is.  I look at people I know that were sexual abused as a child and I can see how there entire life was changed because of the abuse.  I can only imagine what their life would have been like if they would have never experienced it.  Oh how different their lives would be.  But that person they could have become was "murdered" by their abuser.

The last thing that stood out to me was when one of the sex offenders was asked if he was abused when he was a child.  He broke down in tears and said he was.  He then went on to say that "we need to break the cycle."  Abuse is a cycle.  A cycle that is fueled by silence.  We need to stop ignoring the problem, address is as a society and make a change.  It is a daunting task, but if we sit by the wayside and hope that someone else will do something, nothing will change.  But if we just open up our mouths, talk openly with our loved ones about the issue, educate our children, and try and be more aware, we will be able to one day live in a world free of these silent "murders."


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