Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Break the Silence: Post 1

This post is part of our "Break the Silence" campaign.  Please be aware that the following contains descriptions of abuse that are graphic in nature.

I grew up in a household of one boy and five girls.  I was the youngest.  It was kind of known amongst us sisters not to be alone with dad.  He was kind of a "hands on" kind of guy.  Back rubs, shoulder massages, they were something we all grew accustomed to. But as soon as he had one of us alone, it became bad news quick.  The "funny" thing is, we never took the abuse we received from him as a serious threat.  I kiddingly asked my sister once about it and she said, "its just dad being dad." I never knew the seriousness of his actions until later in life, even though the abuse was very disgusting.

Once when I was 11 I broke my leg.  Dad spent many nights helping me change my clothes.  I didn't realize he was grooming me into letting him see me naked, also giving him access to my body.  Once the cast came off, he still found ways to see me naked.  Often times he talked about my developing body.  Fondling became more and more frequent under the disguise of tickling.  Then the clothes started coming off, followed by giving and receiving oral sex.  He told me he just wanted to make each other feel good.  Nothing wrong with that right???  He was really sick.  It didn't happen more than once or twice a month, but that was because I learned he was also doing this to my older sisters.  It did however continue until I moved out of the house at age 21.  By that time he was having full fledged sex with me.   I hate myself sometimes for not knowing how terrible this all was.  I have no idea how he got away with it for so long.

The reason I shared this with you today is because you guys look like your around my age.  Also, you run.  I learned at a young age that running is about the best thing I could do for my body, as well as my mind.  I got away from "it all" by running a few miles every day.  It has helped so much and continues to help today.  Please continue your work in fighting against sexual abuse.  I think the more people talk about it, the more young people will know it is wrong.  I never had access to the internet like many girls do today.  I didn't know my dad was an evil person.  Your work will help someone like me.  Thanks so much!

-Michelle